Survive
by Hella-venger
Summary: Midoriya was right. She wasn't weak. And she wasn't gonna give up. Fuck the world. Bakugou will prove to it she's a woman. She already is, so that's half the work done. Trans Girl Bakugou.
1. Chapter 1

This is gonna be a long term series and separate from the main "When You're A Hero And Transitioing" It will be more drama based and less casual than the other series. I'm pretty proud of the first chapter, so I'd love to hear what people think.

TWs for this fic are Abusive Parents, Transphobia, Dysphoria and Homelessness. If any of these are a trigger for you, please put your comfort first.

This was also inspired by the fic "Open My Chest And Colour My Spine" on AO3.

* * *

Bakugou was a girl. Rain falls down. The sun shines during the day. Rocks are hard. And Bakugou was a girl. The only difference between the former and the latter was that the world only seemed to believe the first three. They didn't like when Bakugou cursed them out for saying that she didn't want to be on the boy's side. They didn't like it when she said she wanted to wear a skirt instead of the suffocating slacks. And most of all, her mother didn't like it.

_"Why the fuck can't I be a girl?"_

_"Cos you're a boy! And you're not gonna be some weak tranny!"_

As if on instinct, Bakugou's hand reaches up to her face, slowly massaging the stinging sensation that originated from whenever she brought up the subject with her mother. It was only a slap, but that gives enough message that Bakugou needs. Her mother doesn't care about her. Her mother would rather a dead son than a live daughter. And Bakugou knew if she kept bringing it up, what camp she would end up in. She didn't know what her father thought. Frankly, she didn't care. He may buy her gifts and helps ice the wounds, but he doesn't do a damn thing when it happens. Just a muffled "She doesn't mean it" and an awkward pat on the back.

It was like sorting through her life, almost. You take the things you need, not the things you want. So, sadly, Bakugou had to leave the skirts and blouses that she had so painstakingly sequestered away from her parents who believed pain was an adequate punishment. So, folded into her rucksack was an assortment of slacks, t-shirts and hoodies. The kind of thing that would keep you warm. Not happy, but warm. When you're living on the streets, that is kind of what you need.

Looking across the room, she saw the pile of clothes she wasn't taken. Left out in the open were blue skirts with water-drop like designs. A blouse that had a simple turtle saying "Its OK to come out of your shell!" Deku got her that one.

And so, the turtle blouse went into the bag.

Supposed it was petty, Bakugou did, to leave everything out in the open like that. Free for the world to see. Well, her mother to see anyway. Good. She deserved a chance to be petty. To show some spite towards the woman who wouldn't let her be a woman. A final "Fuck-You" for all she had done.

It would be pretty simple. They were already in bed, what with it being 3. AM. Bakugou would hop through the window, skid down the roof and land in a bush. If she's lucky, she'll only get a few bruises for her trouble. And Bakugou wasn't planning on being unlucky. She had too much of that. Being born into this family. Having to leave a well-earned UA scholarship. Being born a type of girl the world wasn't kind to. Bout time she got some luck out of the deal.

Besides, living on the streets? Doesn't get much more unluckier than that. But she'd survive. She'll use her quirk to take what she needs and survive. No joy. No lax. No nothing other than survive.

And so, the journey began.

As she skirted down the roof and landed in the bushes, luck seemed to finally smile upon her as her prediction came through. Amazing (!)

And a figure stood only a few feet away. A figure with green poofy hair. Looks like luck decided to turn on her.

"Go home, Deku. You ain't seen anything."

"Kacchan, don't do this."

"Don't what? You want me to stay here? Here! I thought you were some sort of sensitive, emotional pussy." Hefting the bag out of the bush, Bakugou made a point of banging her shoulder into Deku's own as she walked past. "I'm done being nice. Don't follow me."

"I didn't mean stay here." This was rewarded with a dismissive *Tch!* from Bakugou.

"Ah Christ, not this again..."

"I talked to my Mom. We have a spare room. We might not have a lot, but you'd have a warm meal and bed." Bakugou felt an arm tugging at her sleeve, and it took all of her strength to restrain her quirk from going off in reaction.

"I don't need your fuckin' charity."

"Are you really that weak?" This one was rewarded with a full on glare over the shoulder.

"The fuck did you just say?"

"You're just gonna give up? On your dream? I thought you wanted to be the NO.1 Hero? I thought you wanted to prove to the world and say _I AM HERE!"_ Great, he's quoting All-Might now. "I thought you were stronger than that. I guess I was wrong." Like merging into the shadows that surrounded them, Midoriya walked away.

Soon to be joined by Bakugou walking alongside her. The slowly growing smile of Midoriya was cut off by Bakugou.

"Not a word."

Midoriya was right. She wasn't weak. And she wasn't gonna give up. Fuck the world. Bakugou will prove to it she's a woman. She already is, so that's half the work done.


	2. Chapter 2

Howdy, ya'll! I'm actually really enjoying writing this fic, so I wrote up a second chapter! Hope you enjoy!

TWs for Transphobia, Homophobia and Abusive Parents. Please put your comfort first before reading if any of these are triggering for you.

* * *

Chapter Text

One day. That was all she expected to last. She'd come in, stay for a night and enjoy the contrast of the soft bed to the harshness of a bus bench. And then she'd be gone. Midoriya would let his guard down after that act she put on and wouldn't think of Bakugou making another runner. It'd be easy. They were too kind. Too soft to think that anyone would rather the pain of the rough than a cozy and loving home. They underestimated Bakugou's pride.

And Bakugou underestimated something too. She underestimated the love of a kind home. The joy of a simple meal that you didn't have to make yourself. The casualness of a truly kind family. A life where you don't have to worry about a potential danger at any wrong word you may say. A life in that the people who say they care about you actually do. A kind life. And a kind life is hard to leave.

The bed was soft. Too soft. Enough to let yourself sleep in for days on end. Amazing how a pull-out sofa was practically a luxury compared to the piece of concrete that dared call itself a bed she had before. Midoriya's exaggerated when he said they had a spare room. Unless they never used the living room for other than housing strays, Bakugou bitterly noted to herself. Still, there was another type of kindness to that. Someone willing to lie in the grander goal of helping. And Bakugou hated it.

She hated how the soft bed let her sleep comfortably. She hated how amazing the food tasted. She hated how Family Board Game Night was literally the most calm she ever felt. She hated how kind they were. Bakugou grew up in a house where kindness was synonymous with weakness. And no matter how much she hated that home, Bakugou couldn't let its lessons leave her. She wouldn't become weak like them.

It took a month to build the nerve. It was remarkably similar to the night where Midoriya found her, bruised and scraped outside her home. Packing the bag. Deciding what was needed and wanted. Planning exactly how to break out of this perceived prison. In theory, it should be far easier. No-one will be there to stop her like Deku that night. No-one will care enough to look for her.

Then why was she spending so much time staring at that stupid Turtle Blouse in her hands? She couldn't even remember why she brought it from her home. It wasn't cos Deku got it for her. Definitely not. It wasn't cos it was the first gift someone ever got for her. The real her. Definitely not. It wasn't any of that. It was...It was...It-

Within those moments, Bakugou's mind was somewhere else.

* * *

5 Months Ago

Midoriya often spent his nights walking around the park. He loved walking. The calming rhythm of his feet on the cobblestones. The trees blowing in the wind, sending leaves flowing through the air. The shimmering lake. It was how he spent most of his lunchbreaks school. It was the only way to avoid people who didn't like him. The ones who would call him Quirkless. Useless. Less. That seemed to be the common theme with insults. Less. Even the ones that didn't include the word. You were less of a person. And not just because he was quirkless.

Grasping a low branch of a nearby tree, Midoriya's breathing kicked up its pace, causing him to keel over. No, he wouldn't do this. He wouldn't get lost in the pain. They were wrong. He wasn't useless. He wasn't less. But how many times rational thought was overcome by emotion. Oftentimes, you need something external to pull you out of yourself. And lucky for Deku but unlucky for Bakugou, there was that very thing.

The figure was crouched over, skipping stones across the park's lake. The pebbles hopped and threaded across the surface of the water, creating a trail that any could spot. Midoriya wasn't used to seeing others in the park. At least, not in the open. Midoriya was definitely not used to those people being Bakugou.

"Kacchan?" Slowly making his way over, Bakugou threw his voice. Not so loud to shock Bakugou, but enough to be heard. Unfortunately, it did not have the desired effect.

Bakugou leap upwards, head darting back and forth like a gazelle who had heard the growl of a lion. Midoriya had never seen Bakugou like this. He was almost...scared. Finally, Bakugou's eyes locked with Midoriya's own. Wide-eyed and shaking in terror, Midoriya felt there was something different about them tonight. It was only when he got closer could he pinpoint what.

A thin, purple line was surrounding the eyes. Eyeliner. And if Midoriya's deduction skills weren't as accurate as he believed, the tube grasped in Bakugou's hands held the final confirmation.

Slowly backing away, Bakugou did not break her eye contact with Deku. It was like one of those Weeping Angels in Doctor Who. As if Bakugou believed if she kept looking at Midoriya, he wouldn't move. Unluckily for Bakugou, life isn't Doctor Who.

"Kacchan, are you OK?"

"Fu-Fuck off, Deku!" Now, Bakugou had stopped and her eye-line finally broke contact with her would be outer to the tube of eyeliner in her hand. Tightening her grasp, it turned to ashes in the wind. "Not a fuckin' word! You didn't see anything! I'll-I'll kill you if you tell!" There was very little anger or threat in Bakugou's voice. Just fear. The fear of someone who felt their life was crumbling beneath them.

"It's..." Midoriya paused. He didn't know what to say. This could be a thousand things. A thousand different identities. A thousand different reasons. One wrong word. A simple mistake could caused this to come crashing down.

But, Midoriya knew something that might work. The look in Bakugou's eyes was someone who felt they were alone. And Midoriya wasn't about to let her keep thinking that.

"I'm gay."

The words sat in the air, like raindrops frozen in time. Midoriya had only told his mother before now. There were rumors at school. of course. But Midoriya never gave confirmation. But now. Now he had. And he couldn't help but mirror Bakugou's fear-filled stare.

"I'm not!" Bakugou screamed out, and Midoriya's heart sunk into a crevasse. He had misjudged this. This was wrong. Everything was done. His school. Any chance at him becoming a hero. Done.

"I-I mean.,...I'm not gay." The words from Bakugou finally unfroze the previous coming out. "I'm just a girl." And like that, Bakugou's legs finally gave out, falling down to the ground. She looked at the ashes that remained in her hand, almost solemnly. "That was...fuck. That was my only one."

In an instant, Midoriya joined her side.

"I could- I could get you another one?"

Bakugou gave a glare, like cat staring at those feathery pieces of string, unsure what to make of this.

"Always trying to be a hero, huh Deku?"

"No. I'm just trying to help a friend."

* * *

"Fuck it." Tossing the blouse on the unzipped bag, Bakugou fell backwards onto the fold out couches hastily messed up covers.

Maybe she could try this kind house thing. Maybe some lessons could be unlearned.

Maybe she could prove to her parents that she can be a girl. That the world isn't as hateful and disgusting as they showed it to be.

Maybe she could be happy.

No. There's no maybe about it.

She will be.


	3. Chapter 3

Howdy! A bit shorter than my other chapters, but I hope you enjoy!

TWs for Transphobia, Homophobia, Transphobic Slurs, PTSD and Parental Abuse. If any of these are a trigger for you, please put your comfort first before reading.

* * *

Toast and egg whites. A simple meal for a simple family. Well, they were simple before Bakugou got there. A nuclear family, was that the right term? Two parents, one there one absentee. A son who tried his dammnedest to be the best he could be. And now, a runaway trans girl. Life tends not to stay simple for long. There's always some form of change lurking, waiting to join the fray. Bakugou hated chaos. And she despised being chaos. This was not how she wanted her life to go. Survive her family. Graduate UA. Become NO.1 hero. Transition. And then make every moment of her life dedicated to proving her mother wrong. The first part went up in smoke. At least she can dedicate herself to the next parts.

"Bakugou, I ironed your skirt. Should be ready in a 'mo."

"I'm not wearin' it. Give me some slacks." Picking at the toast with a fork, Bakugou focused all of her sight on the piece of cooked bread in front of her. There was something about Inko that made being rude to her extra hard to do when meeting her eyes. Bakugou supposed this is the guilt of talking back to a loving mother. One who doesn't throw things at you and claim you're a burden for being born different. And Bakugou didn't know how to handle it.

"O-Oh, OK. I think Izuku has some spares I could fetch."

"Great, she's hurt."

As Inko scurried out of the room, Bakugou finally allowed his eyes to wander upwards. Right into the stare of Midoriya.

"Gonna add how I eat my eggs to your freaky stalker manual?" Letting the fork drop to the side of her plate, Bakugou found her appetite had disappeared. This tended to happen when a serious conversation was on the horizon.

"They won't hold it against you."

"Says you."

"UA has an inclusive and open policy towards all people. Especially protected classes."

"And are ya' gonna put the fact ya' into dudes on your shirt?" The brief break in Midoriya's stare was enough to give Bakugou pause. Damn, that wasn't something she would do. It was something Mitsuki would do. And that wasn't Bakugou. No matter how much that voice in her head told her it was.

"Fuck! You shouldn't have sai-You shouldn't have-" Trying to find a way out of this pit of jumbled words and tumbling sentences, Bakugou instead settled to drop her fork on the counter. "I'm sorry, OK. That was...That was beneath me."

"I know. You still did it."

"Got some backbone there, Deku?" A whisper of a smile briefly graced Bakugou's face. "Good. You're gonna need that."

Now it was Deku's turn to give Bakugou pause.

"And you're going to start trusting people." The backbone returns, Bakugou noted to herself. The definitiviness in Deku's statement was what struck Bakugou the most. Now offer or request. Just a statement.

"So, whaddya want me to do? Wear a skirt like a good little trann-"

"Don't," Once more, simply a statement from Deku. "Don't say that word."

"It's my word, Shitheel. I'll say it as much as I want." And yet, she didn't try to repeat it. Deku was right, not that Bakugou would admit. Calling herself that word...It was an insult to her. She was better than that word. Far better.

"I want you to be yourself. I want you to say I AM HE-"

"Now, I'm gonna stop ya'." Holding a fork like a teacher trying to silence a student, Bakugou found it had the intended effect. "That cheesy All-Might shit might've worked when my head was all fucked up, but it ain't gonna do shit now."

"You say, as if you don't have an All-Might pillow case..."

"Shut it!" Picking up a piece of toast, Bakugou flicked it towards Midoriya. While this was meant to be an insult, Bakugou was silenced to see Midoriya smile the food warfare. She was silenced once more when Midoirya returned with a ranged crust of her own.

"Oh. So it's like that, Deku." With this though, a wide smile broke out on Bakugou's face. A wild food fight broke up between the two. Bakugou flinging pieces of egg whites towards Midoirya like a trebuchet. Midoriya returning with knives of crusts. The two couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

Until Inko walked in. Upon seeing Inko's surprised face, Bakugo's mouth fell open. Her spoon clattered to the ground. Hands trembling, every strike and barb from her mother begun coursing through her head as if a dam broke. The weakness that Bakugou believe in herself returned as her legs buckled and she collapsed to the floor. With two hands quickly stopping the descent.

"Katsuki! Are-Are you OK?" The embrace of shielding arms. Bakugou felt a distant memory. One that was clouded by the fog of infancy. Of a time when her mother held her like that. She could get lost in those memories. So, she pushed away.

"M'fine." Standing once more strongly, the steadying of her feet pushing the memories and emotions down further, Bakugou finally realized how absolutely covered in food she was. Great, now she's gonna get mad.

"Looks like you two had a little game. Just leave your clothes next to your bed and I'll get to them." For yet another time today, Bakugou was left silenced by this. No anger. No rage. No disgust. Just a smile and a wave of a hand. Before the fog could return, Midoriya tapped Bakugou's shoulder.

"Kacchan? You there?"

"S-sure. Yeah."

* * *

Despite Midoriya's arguing and Inko's reassurance, Bakugou manged to get right to wear slacks. Bakugou supposed there was some sort of fucked up irony to it. If this was her old home, she'd be fighting for the right to wear the skirt.

But this wasn't her old home, she thought as her and Deku walked to their first day.

"Why didn't she get mad?"

Having strode ahead of her, Deku halted a few feet in front of Bakugou at this question.

"About what, Kacchan?"

"About the food. If that was mine, she would've..." A different fog of memories begun to cloud Bakugou's mind. Not one she ever planned to embrace. But, yet again, a tap on the shoulder knocked her out of it.

"She didn't get mad cos she knew it wasn't a big deal. She'd only get mad if she was worried." The ear to ear smile Deku held only spoke to the sincerity of this. And Bakugou being Bakugou, she reacted by shrugging off the reassuring hand on her shoulder and marched forward. This time, with the same determination as Deku side by side. One foot in front of the other. Never get lost in the fog.

"You know what your mom did wasn't OK, don't you?"

"I know, Deku."

"You know we won't do that, don't you."

Bakugou didn't hesitate.

"I know Deku."


End file.
